Keeping up a Long Distance Relationship

"Where you are is where I want to be."

J.E. Mara

What are we supposed to do when the person we love is halfway across the world for what seems like an eternity? It most definitely isn’t an ideal situation for any couple; it’s depressing, lonely and emotionally draining to say the least.

You go to sleep longing for a heartfelt snuggle and you wake up the next morning, wishing to see that smile; there’s absolutely no better way to start your day than looking at that smile.

But, how are you supposed to remain in love with the idea of someone? All that’s left is a mountain of memories you can’t seem to stop thinking about. They aren’t here with you in the flesh, so you can’t feel that sense of security from a simple hug, kiss or cuddle.

Yes, there is Skype, Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and every single social media outlet under the sun, but it is simply not the most ideal way to conduct a relationship.

So, what makes us commit to a torturous long-distance relationship? Obviously, there has to be some sort of benefit; otherwise, so many couples wouldn’t be taking the leap of faith.

I used to think if I were ever in this situation myself, where I fell madly in love with someone and that person happened to move overseas, I would want to go our separate ways and be together when it was possible to physically be together.

It would seem as though all the benefits of being in a relationship would be taken away if life steered us in opposite directions. Things like sex, cuddling, romantic dinners and days out together, or even the simplest joy of just having another person’s company are impossible.

To me, that was my version of a great relationship; if that was taken away, there would be nothing left to continue if a goodbye was on the horizon. I mean, who would want to remain faithful to someone when that someone isn’t physically present a majority of the time?

But, since it has happened, and the man I love has pursued and worked to attend his dreams of becoming a medical professional, I have viewed this inconvenient situation in an entirely different light.

When someone is gone, you realize just how much that person adds to your life.

I don’t just mean the physical intimacy like kissing, cuddling and holding hands at every possible time. Those are all ways of expressing how you truly feel about that person, not what caused you to feel those feelings in the first place.

I’m talking about your emotional connection to this person, and all you are willing to sacrifice. It most certainly isn’t something you do with someone you do not see a future with.

It is a commitment that says you are willing to withstand any inconvenient situation in order to keep that person in your life.

You start to think about what value that person adds to your life, and what drew you toward him or her over anybody else you’ve met. This runs far deeper than just the physical chemistry and the day-to-day benefits of having a partner in your life.

It’s all the little things that made you fall in love, such as the way this person can laugh with you, the kindness and care he or she treats you with and how this person can guide you through dark times without even realizing he or she is doing so.

It’s a trust you have that allows you to tell this person absolutely anything; it’s a mutual understanding of each other that enables you to feel connected, even though you are distance apart.

If this person is the right one for you, distance will not waver your feelings for one another. It comes down to a faith you have in your relationship, which makes you realize you are meant to be together, and you will sacrifice any short-term pleasure for a long-term benefit.

To me, this is better than anything I could share with anybody else; it is something I couldn’t get from a one-night stand or a meaningless fling.

It is a certainty I have, knowing this person is the man of my dreams, and it would be completely pointless for me to chase after anything else.

It is an irreplaceable bond that provides an amazing comfort, knowing I still have the love and support of the man who means the most to me. It is a decision I made to have this person in my life, however far away, rather than not have him at all.

At the end of the day, distance is not for the insecure or the uncertain; it is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for little time with the one they love.

It is about knowing and keeping an amazing thing when you see it, even if you don’t get to see it nearly enough.