“What can I start doing today to make my
life happier and more fulfilling?”
by Anonymous
This is one of the most common questions
readers ask us via email, blog comments, and social media. So today I
want to share some simple, actionable ways to improve your happiness and
wellbeing on a daily basis.
What becomes evident is that, to sustain
happiness, we must focus our attention on the right things, in the right
ways. Every growing human being (that means all of us) has resource
constraints: limited time and energy. It is critical that we spend our
resources effectively.
Here are my personal ways to prioritize
life and to-do lists for increased happiness and fulfillment:
- One thing at a time, with full presence.
In other words, make the thing you have
chosen to do the number one priority while you’re doing it. Focus with
your full attention. See the value in where you are, while you’re
there. Enjoy what’s happening, while it’s happening.
In the end, you will come to realize
that the best days are the days when you don’t need anything extreme or special
to happen to make you smile. You simply appreciate the moments and feel
gratitude, seeking nothing else, nothing more. That is what true
happiness is all about.
- Family and close friends are at the top.
Nurture your important relationships in
such a way that when you tell the people you care about that you care about
them, you’re simply reinforcing what they already know based on how you have prioritized them into
your life.
Give them your full attention. Let
them see their own beauty in your eyes. Let them find their own voice
through your listening ears. Help them discover their own greatness in
your presence.
Make the people you love a top priority,
always.
- Focus on importance, not urgency.
“Things which matter most must never be at the
mercy of things which matter least.”
Truthfully, the most important thing in
life is knowing what the most important things in life are, and prioritizing
them accordingly. Sadly, most of us spend too much time on urgent things and
not enough time on important things.
So do yourself a favor and implement
these three action steps every time you’re building or sorting your to-do list:
Think about the difference between what
is urgent and what is important.
Review all the obligations on your list.
Do what’s important first.
Sometimes everything on your list will
look important, which might be true to an extent. But as you practice
prioritizing, you will get better and better at it. And eventually you
will know, without question, when to set aside the important things in order to
accomplish the vital ones, like spending quality time with loved ones.
- Keep your efforts aligned with your purpose
Getting anything worthwhile done is a
matter of connecting with why you have chosen to do this thing in the first
place.
Don’t allow others to confuse you.
Don’t let them convince your heart what is right for you. Your heart
already knows. Listen to it. Don’t let anyone else dilute the power
of your inner voice. You’ve got to stand up for something specific, on
your own two legs, or you will achieve nothing worthwhile in your own mind’s
eye.
Within you there is a formidable and
undeniable sense of purpose. Happiness comes from making a solid and
persistent connection to that purpose. When your intentions are supported
by a “why” that has meaning, you will find the “how” to bring them to life.
- Play to your strengths and delegate when it makes sense.
When it comes to tackling big projects,
you can try to do everything yourself, or you can reach out and find the right
people to help you. The first choice will raise your stress and blood pressure;
the second choice will raise your consciousness and effectiveness.
Choosing the right perspective is so
important; you CAN see life’s challenges as opportunities. When an
unexpected obstacle is suddenly standing in your way, don’t get
overwhelmed. Take a breather and regroup. Someone else nearby knows
how to get around it. Find and engage them.
Life is trying to teach you that most
long-term, worthy endeavors are team efforts, and so much more palatable when
shared with others. Every unexpected obstacle in life is a lesson on
teamwork in disguise, solvable with the right team of people.
- Socialize and share with peers.
Regardless of what you’re trying to
accomplish, it’s always easier if you have a group of people who understand
what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and what challenges you’re
facing. Staying in touch with these people and sharing ideas with them
will accelerate your effectiveness and happiness.
Every single one of us craves the feeling
of being part of something bigger than ourselves. By nature, we are
tribal, but oftentimes we become disconnected from our tribe. We know our
people are out there – somewhere – but we feel lost and disconnected from
them. If you’re feeling disconnected, open up to your peers and initiate
a conversation.
- Give what you can, as you seek what you desire.
In many ways, life is a circle – what
you put in to it comes back around. When you make a positive impact in
the world, the world will have a positive impact on you.
If you want to be rich, be
generous. If you want to make friends, be friendly. If you want to
be heard, listen. If you want to be understood by others, take the time
to truly understand them. If you want to live an interesting life, be
interested in the happenings around you.
You won’t always get back exactly what
you wanted or expected, but when you give what you can you almost always
receive what you need.
- Leave the past behind as you plan ahead.
Let old problems remain where they
belong – in the past. No matter how many times you revisit the past,
there’s nothing new to see. Don’t let what once happened get in the way
of what is happening.
Just because you’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean
your mistakes get to make you. If something important didn’t work
yesterday, figure out what changes can be made today.
Tame your inner critic; let go and move
on productively. You must make a conscious effort to do this, it won’t
happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how
hard this is. I don’t care how disappointed I am. I’m not going to
let yesterday’s problems get the best of me. I’m taking the lessons and
moving on with my life.”
- Commit to self-respect, regardless of the issue at hand.
Whenever you catch yourself in a
rambling bout of negative self-talk, stop and ask yourself, “If I had a friend
who spoke to me in the same way that I sometimes speak to myself, how long
would I allow this person to be my friend?”
Remember, the way you treat yourself
sets the standard for others, and the world at large, to follow. Above
everyone else, YOU deserve YOUR respect. So make sure your decisions,
behaviors and actions reflect your self-respect as you carry out your
plans.
- Leave room to breathe.
Things don’t always go as planned.
Good things can’t always be planned. Be flexible and open to life’s
twists and turns.
Organize, but don’t agonize. Keep
your space and time ordered, but your schedule underbooked. Create a foundation
with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and
breathe…
Freeing yourself from an overbooked
schedule lets you experience more of life’s good surprises, and
also provides you with flexibility when the unforeseen disrupts your foresight.
Afterthoughts
So, in summary …
Focus on your priorities, but take
things in stride. Make decisions, not excuses. Live one moment at a
time. Count your blessings, not your troubles. Let the wrong things
go. Look for lessons in unforeseen obstacles. Ask for help.
Give as much as you take. Make time for those who matter. Laugh
when you can. Cry when you need to. And always stay true to your
values.
J. E. Mara
